Kids and I have an interesting dynamic. Especially, older, more cognizant children; they don't know what to make of me at first. I seem unsure, timid, and slightly awkward. I don't rush children into accepting, or trusting, me right away- I like to give them plenty of time to bloom at a natural (their own) pace. Conversely, Babies and toddler-aged kids warm to me rather quickly. Fortunately, I can usually win them over within two to three hours (average estimate). I try to be gentle with their raw feelings, converse with them in a dignified manner (that doesn't insult anyone's intelligence), pick my battles, and sternly uphold appropriate boundaries. Don't get me wrong- I also have my times of low energy, limited patience, and creative drought (who wants to play I Spy AGAIN?). But there seems to be an emotional and intuitive core that I'm able to tap into, as needed.
Today, I was on babysitting duty from 8am to 3pm. A pal of mine referred the child's mother to me- one of the perks of working at a daycare is the ripe opportunity to earn some extra cash, via babysitting. Therefore, she was from a classroom I had rarely ever worked in, so I wasn't too familiar with the little one (female, age 6, we'll call her S). However, after a few rounds of memory game, puzzle piecing, and teeter-tottering; we were pals. We spent the day strolling through the shady woods around her house, talking about monarch butterflies, favorite things, and gender relations- "Girls are smart, and boys are strong, but dumb" said S. I tried my damnedest to give her a fresh perspective "Girls can be as strong as boys, and boys can be as smart as girls". But she wasn't having any of that- very set in her ways- I figured this was one of those battles best not picked. We put daisies in our hair and treasures in the "purse" attached to her bicycle (a green guitar pick, two rocks, and smashed dandelion). At one point on our nature walk, we had to cut across a few backyards. Armed with the knowledge that briefly, and respectfully trespassing would not result in public flogging- I assured S that she was not going to get yelled at, or get in trouble.
"If anyone gets in trouble- it's me" I said.
"But what if they ask whose idea it was?" S inquired.
"It was my idea honey, we'll just always say it was my idea" I replied.
"So I wont get in trouble- you'll just say it was you? why?" S said.
"You will not get in trouble, I will. And I'm okay with that- because I'm a grown-up. Don't worry" I said.
She beamed up at me like I was superman, and I just said everything she needed to hear. She gave me the privilege of holding her hand for the rest of the afternoon.
Upon her mother's arrival, we shared a heartfelt hug- at which time, she clung to the ends of my hair, inhaled the seemingly heavenly aroma, and proclaimed "It smells like coconut, I just love it". It melted my heart and weakened my knees. I drove away on that wonderful cloud that only an adoring child can put you on. When I spend time with kids I can correct the embarrassments of my own childhood, I can hug when others screeched, and I can listen when others lectured. I screw up (like so many before me), but I try to understand. I strive to ascend and be the bigger person so that the littles can feel the freedom to be little - leave the big problems to me; you just love, live, and learn....for now anyway!
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